


The Night We Met

by hpgarbage



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauders - Fandom
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:22:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29835966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hpgarbage/pseuds/hpgarbage
Summary: Confronted with the choice between right and wrong, Regulus finds solace in his brother's best friend.This fic is a slow burn jegulus with background wolfstar and maybe a little bit of jily. It starts from Regulus' fifth year and James' sixth year and is written in Regulus' POV. Inspired by the song The Night We Met by Lord Huron and Phoebe Bridgers.Work still in progress!
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 64





	1. He's My Brother

**Author's Note:**

> hi :) this is my first time writing a fic so please be nice! like the rest of you i've finally been able to admit that i no longer ship jegulus ironically, and i have yet to find an actually good fanfiction about them so i decided to write my own. feel free to leave fic recommendations in the comments as well as your input.

Sirius was gone. 

He knew that the day would come when his brother would leave the Black family for good, but some part of him had hoped, prayed even, that it wouldn't. Now Regulus had no one, and the thought terrified him. His brother had always been brash and defiant, but he was smart, and Regulus thought that maybe he would be sensible enough to play his part in the Black family theatrics until he was of age. But of course, Sirius Black was anything but predictable.

As children they had been friends, brothers even, but as time passed the two grew further and further apart. Where Regulus had done all he could to fly under the radar whilst maintaining his family role, Sirius had done anything but. He refused to listen, even when Regulus had begged him time and time again to be civil, and it had led to his demise as the Black family heir. Now hours away from being blasted off of the family tree, Sirius sought refuge at James Potters house, Regulus knew this much. Though the two brothers had become distant from each other, the love remained, and Sirius had implored Regulus to come with him to the Potters, leaving his family behind completely. 

Of course, Regulus refused. For one, he was terrified of his mother and father and could only imagine the pain that would be inflicted upon him, should they ever find out. Secondly, Regulus absolutely hated James Potter. He had never done anything deserving of hatred, in fact he was one of the kindest boys that Regulus had ever met. But he took his brother away from him, and that was unforgivable. Regulus knew this wasn't intentional, but he detested him for it. Sirius had met the Potter boy years ago and they'd been inseparable ever since, leaving Regulus alone and confused. 

Confused as to why his brother no longer wanted to spend time with him. 

Confused as to why James Potter meant more to Sirius than his own brother. 

It was a silly and childish way of thinking, and Regulus was aware that he didn't truly hate James, but it felt easier to blame the problem on him. Sirius had friends and people who loved him, but Regulus had only ever had Sirius. And now he was gone. So as Regulus sat alone in his room, he couldn't help but cry. It was a shameful thing to do, especially in the Black household, but he didn't care. Years ago, when his mother and father were being especially awful, Regulus would cry. His parents would scold him and threaten him with curses and hexes, but Sirius would always protect him, often doing something so mental that the cruciatus curse was the only punishment his parents found suitable. Now, at the age of 15, Regulus knew better, and he never cried, especially not in the presence of Walburga and Orion Black. As he sat on the floor, knees held tightly to his chest, he couldn't help but reflect on the memories and think that Sirius Black was the bravest person he'd ever known. 

That was why he was sorted into Gryffindor. That was why his family hated him. Because Sirius stood up for himself and the people around him no matter the consequences. That was why Regulus was not sorted into Gryffindor. Because he remained a coward, just like the rest of his family, begging for mercy from the Dark Lord. He hated himself for it and he knew his family was wrong, but he was powerless. All those years ago, when the sorting hat had debated his entrance to Gryffindor, he had begged and pleaded to be put in Slytherin. But as he saw his puffy eyed reflection in the mirror across the room, he couldn't help but regret this decision entirely. If he was in Gryffindor, he and Sirius would still be friends. They would be brothers. 

Regulus picked himself up off the floor and made his way to the bathroom. Better to have these tears wiped away before mother and father come home. It had been merely hours since Sirius had left, and Regulus could only imagine the destruction that would reign when his parents arrived home. They would search everywhere for him, not wanting to be the pureblood family with the ungrateful son. Regulus knew they would never find him as the Potter household was secured by a fidelus charm, but he worried for his brother anyway. 

In an afterthought, Regulus worried for himself. With Sirius gone, he would no doubt be made the Black family heir and that title came with responsibilities Regulus knew he wasn't ready for. He was only 15 but that didn't matter in his family. By 17 he would be married to another pureblood, likely one of his own cousins, branded with the dark mark and sent off to work for Voldemort. Regulus wasn't stupid, he knew his parents intended for he and Sirius to take the mark soon enough, but as it dawned closer, Regulus spent every day feeling sick. He didn't hate muggle born wizards, and he didn't understand why his family did either. They explained that the mudbloods were stealing magic from wizards; magic that wasn't rightfully theirs. For years, this information seemed plausible to Regulus, but when he began to attend Hogwarts, the idea stopped making sense. He knew a handful of muggle born students that could outperform him easily, and he wondered where the idea that the magic didn't belong to them even came from. 

These thoughts were never shared with anyone. Regulus had taught himself occlumency at the age of 12 and had since locked away any rebellious thoughts. At one time, he might've shared these thoughts with Sirius, but as Regulus played his part, Sirius seemingly wanted nothing to do with him. Even when Regulus would implore Sirius to understand that he was just doing what he could not to die, his brother never wanted to hear it. Regulus thought that brothers were supposed to stick together, through things like this, but Sirius had chosen James Potter over him, and it had stung. 

Regulus had friends of course, but none that he felt comfortable enough with to share these thoughts. He knew that many of the other Slytherin students felt the way he did, but none of them dared to speak of it for fear of being outed. Then there were others like Mulciber and Flint, who proudly wore their distaste for muggleborns and used every opportunity to show it. As he stared at himself in the mirror, face now freshly washed, he wanted nothing more than to be with Sirius and desperately wished he'd chosen to go with him. 

His thoughts were interrupted by his mothers screams.

"WHERE IS HE?" Regulus heard Walburga screech from down the hall. He could hear her footsteps getting closer and quickly straightened himself out. He walked to the armchair by his bed and opened a nearby book, hoping to look unsuspicious. 

"Regulus, where is your brother?" Walburga asked patiently. She had always been more fond of her younger son and Regulus used this to his advantage. He quickly sifted through his mind and stored away the conversation he'd had with his brother only hours prior. When the memory was locked tight, he replied simply "He's gone mother, he told me he was leaving and I tried to stop him, but he left."

She considered him for a long moment, and he felt her pushing her way into his mind. He hoped he'd created a convincing false memory. Regulus kept his eyes locked on his mother's, maintaining a sorrow looking stare, when finally he felt his mind released. This seemed to be enough for her. 

"We will be looking for him. If he contacts you, let us know at once." She said with a huff, tapping her foot impatiently. 

He felt tears threatening his eyes again, but he didn't dare let them fall, "Yes mother," he replied. 

With that she was gone, and Regulus hurried to the bathroom, turning on the showerhead so his mother wouldn't hear the sobs that followed.

\--

Regulus picked up his trunk and started towards the Hogwarts Express. He had said goodbye to his parents while they distractedly searched for Sirius on the platform. The relief that filled him just by being in front of the train was immense. He took a seat in his compartment along with Barty Crouch Jr. and Alabastor Nott, thankful to be in the company of his friends. Though none of them would ever outwardly admit it, there was an understanding between the three of them that they did not want to follow the path the other students around them were on. It comforted Regulus to know he was not the only one being pressured into acts he didn't care for, even if his family was the most outspoken. Barty hated his dad, that much was clear, but he didn't want to resort to a life of violence like his peers. Alabastor was simply afraid. He had never got on with his family and their ideals, much like Sirius, but he was more similar to Regulus in that he would not defy them until he was of age. 

When the train had pulled away from the platform, Regulus excused himself pretending to need to use the restroom, but actually going to search for Sirius. He walked down the cars for a while and finally found his brother. Unsurprisingly, Sirius had his arms draped around Remus Lupin, looking happy as ever. Regulus had never minded his brothers chosen love interest. Where Sirius was short tempered and impulsive, Remus Lupin was level headed and realistic. Though being queer was heavily frowned upon in their family, Regulus also didn't mind that his brother had fallen in love with a boy. If Sirius was this happy, then it shouldn't matter who he chose to love. 

And though Regulus would never admit it, he too felt compelled towards boys. He had never had an interest in girls, he knew that for a fact, but like most situations, he acted out of fear. He never quite knew when it started, but he found himself lingering in the changing rooms after quidditch practice, or staring too long at his younger professors. These thoughts were among the ones he locked away deep in his mind. 

Regulus opened the door to the compartment carefully and cleared his throat, "Sirius," he muttered.

Four pairs of eyes suddenly turned to him and the air was so thick with silence, Regulus thought he might choke.

"What do you want Regulus?" Sirius stared at him with icy grey eyes.

"Mother said to let you know that you're no longer welcome at home, and she'd asked me to report back to her regarding you," he took a long breath before meeting his brother's eyes, "but I won't be doing that."

"Tell mother I wasn't planning on coming back to that blasted place, and as for you... you're a coward."

Regulus wanted to cry, "I'm just doing what I can to stay alive, you know this. We can't all be as reckless as you, what happens to Kreacher if I leave?"

Sirius snorted, "Screw that stupid elf."

"He's not stupid! He needs me... the same way I need you," Regulus let his eyes drop to the floor, embarrassed. 

"You don't need me. Mother and father would never lay a hand on their perfect pureblood son. I told you to come with me and you said no, so stop whining about the decision you made."

Regulus took a final look around the compartment. Peter Pettigrew didn't dare make eye contact with him and Remus Lupin stared at Sirius, dumbfounded. The only one looking at Regulus was none other than James Potter. He expected James to look furious or annoyed, but his eyes were soft, almost sad and Regulus felt his face heat up. He turned around to leave the compartment and made his way to the bathroom. Once inside the small lavatory, Regulus cried. He'd been crying a lot lately and it only made him feel more like a coward. Perhaps four years of holding back tears made them all spill at once. He gripped the edges of the sink until his knuckles turned white, and as he was about to leave he heard a voice on the other side of the door. 

"Regulus, its James. Can I come in?" James' voice was soft and alluring as he stepped inside without waiting for Regulus to say yes. 

In the confines of the tiny bathroom, Regulus felt exposed as he stared at the floor. James quietly closed the door behind him and put his hand on Regulus' shoulder. 

"You aren't alone you know. If you want to leave Grimmauld Place just say the word and Sirius and I will come get you. I know he's being harsh right now but give him some time and-"

"You don't know anything," Regulus whispered, "He's my brother, not yours, so stop acting as if you know him better than I do."

"I didn't mean for it to come out like that I just wanted you to know we're here for you."

Regulus looked up meeting James' gaze, "You've never been here for me. I've suffered through five years of Sirius ignoring me. I've tried so many times to make him understand but he doesn't and not once have you stepped in. He sees you as his brother not me. You took him from me."

James stared into Regulus' eyes. For the first time, Regulus noticed what a deep shade of brown they were. James had the kind of eyes that made you feel safe when you looked into them, and Regulus wanted so badly to trust him. He yearned to tell James that he wanted to stay with him and run away from his horrid family. But he didn't. Because James Potter was not his friend .

"I'm sorry," James' voice echoed in the small space. 

"It doesn't matter anymore," Regulus sighed before opening the door and walking out. Years later, Regulus would remember this moment as the moment he fell for James Potter, though he didn't know it yet.


	2. When I Met You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus and James' first time meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the love on the last chapter!! I'm sorry to say but I'm very unmotivated to do anything after I'm done with school and work so the chapter updates will probably not be frequent unless I find myself with some spare time. I did, however, finish the outline for this fic so now that that's done with I will try to update at the very least weekly.

"Don't be nervous Reg, you're going to love Hogwarts!"

"What if the other kids don't like me? You know I'm awful at making friends."

Sirius let out a small chuckle, "You're being ridiculous, the other kids will love you just as much as I do. And if they don't you can always hangout with me and my friends, I promise."

Regulus gave Sirius a wary look, "We're in different years we probably won't see each other any, and I doubt your friends want a first year following them around like a puppy."

"Shut up. We'll see each other every day, and if my friends have a problem with you tagging along I'll hex them into oblivion," Sirius explained decisively. 

And that was that. Regulus was very much aware that once Sirius had made up his mind about something, there was no arguing. He let his brother drag him across the platform until they reached the train car doors. It was magnificent. The Hogwarts Express was like an object from a storybook, and Regulus could not comprehend that he was here, about to board it. Sirius' letters really didn't do the thing justice, and Regulus was only too happy to see what other wonders the school had in store.

Despite his qualms about being friendless, Regulus knew that he was more excited than he'd ever admit. The way his brother described the school only ignited the fire in his chest when he realized, he too, would be attending the magical place. There would be no time to worry about his mother's yelling or what cousin's wedding he would be forced to attend next. 

Here, things would be different. 

He could read his muggle books in peace, take lessons on topic which truly interested him, make friends and memories, and most of all, here, Regulus could be with Sirius. Sirius' presence felt safe and he realized more and more that his brothers absence at home was draining him. He could only take so much from his parents and his ability to do so was dwindling. 

Snapped out of his thoughts, Regulus heard Sirius yell as he dragged his little brother into a compartment. 

"Hello boys! We have mere hours before we arrive at school so you are hence forth put to the task of coming up with the most spectacular prank for us to do at the feast," Sirius was grinning widely at the other three boys in the compartment, all of which looked thoroughly exhausted with him already. 

"Sirius we're not pulling a prank on the first night back and especially not at the feast," the boy leaning against the window sighed and Regulus turned to look at him. He was thin and lanky and Regulus thought he looked as though he had not eaten a proper meal in ages. His curly hair was spilling over his forehead and his entire body was bundled up, even though it was not a particularly cold September. The boy met his gaze and Regulus could see the hint of sadness in his eyes, though his smile was warm and comforting, like greeting an old friend. He had a book sprawled out in his lap and Regulus decided he was quite fond of this boy. 

"Who is that you're with Black?" A boy seated on the opposite bench from the lanky one asked. 

"Obviously a brother or a cousin, he has that Black family aura about him," this remark caught Regulus' attention and he turned to look at the boy who'd just spoken. He was mousy and small, with blonde hair that was seemingly uneven. He had a kind smile, but heavy rings under his eyes as though he had not slept. He was much smaller than the other boys, around the same statute of Regulus himself. Regulus could tell right away that the boy was nervous, as he hurried to look at the boy with glasses in hopes his remark was not too harsh. 

The boy with the glasses did not seem to notice the timid nature radiating from the small boy and laughed loudly, "I guess you're right Pete, that was a silly question."

'Pete' relaxed back into his seat and spoke again, this time with more confidence, "So? Who is he?"

Sirius had taken a seat next to the bookworm boy at this point and motioned for Regulus to sit across from him, in between the boy with the glasses and Pete. "This lads, is my little brother Regulus."

The other three turned to look at Regulus and he could feel his face getting hot. The silence in the compartment was palpable until one of them finally spoke, "Well, it's nice to meet you Regulus, I'm James Potter. And this is Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew."

James was much different than the other two boys. While both of them were anxious, Peter more so than Remus, James had a natural air of confidence about him. He spoke eloquently, like a pureblood, but was incredibly welcoming and warm. He had round glasses that slipped down his nose every so often and dark tousled hair. James' smile was encouraging and kind and he looked Regulus square in the eye as though he was an equal. Regulus watched as he brushed his hand through his mess of hair before extending his hand. 

Regulus raised his chin, hoping to seem older and more mature than he was, "It's nice to meet you all, Sirius talks a lot about you."

The rest of the train ride was filled with what Regulus could only describe as a feeling of elation. Cooped up in the Noble House of Black, there was little time for Regulus to make friends that didn't stem from pureblood interactions, and in this moment he felt like he finally had some proper company. The boys treated him as though they'd known him forever, and though they looked wary when he said he assumed he'd be in Slytherin house, they assured him that all four houses were exceptional and he would love Hogwarts no matter where he was sorted. 

At some point, Peter had gone to find his older sister in another train car and Sirius and Remus has fallen asleep resting on one another. When the boys had quieted down, Regulus had taken to reading the book he'd brought along for the ride while James seemed to be deep in thought. After about ten minutes of comfortable silence, James turned to look at Regulus and softly asked, "What are you reading?"

"It's a muggle book about a girl who's kingdom is being attacked. So far, there hasn't been much action but it's a good read," Regulus glanced at the older boy's face, hoping he didn't sound childish for reading a piece of muggle fiction. 

James leaned closer, his eyes twinkling. "That sounds really good! Do you fancy reading it out loud?"

Regulus stared at the boy dumbfounded before nodding slowly, "Okay...yeah sure."

Regulus read for a long time, periodically stealing glances at James' face to make sure he hadn't put him to sleep. Nonetheless, James looked engrossed by every word Regulus spoke and the faint twinkling in his eyes did not disappear. After an hour, Regulus was a bit tired of reading so he bookmarked his page and rest the book in his lap. 

"Why did you stop reading?" James asked curiously. He almost looked hurt. 

"My throat was getting a bit dry, sorry. I can continue if you like."

"No it's okay, we're almost there by now. Don't read the rest without me though, we can finish it another day."

Regulus gave James a confused look. 

"What? I'm invested in the plot now," he gave a small smile before settling back into his seat. 

"I didn't know you enjoyed it that much, but yeah that would be...fun," Regulus said nervously.

James situated himself so that his feat were splayed across Regulus' lap. "Wake me up when we get there, yeah?"

Regulus just nodded and stared at the wall across from him. For the first time in his life he felt like he had made a friend. More importantly, he felt safe. 

\--

Alone in his bed, with the curtains tightly drawn, Regulus replayed this memory in his head. He remembered it clear as day, and wondered where things went south and when he and Sirius had officially deserted each other. The distance between them wasn't one sided, Regulus knew he had pushed his brother away as well, but it felt magnified on Sirius' end. His brother had completely shut him out at some point and it made Regulus' heart ache.

More so, Regulus wondered when he and James Potter had become completely withdrawn from one another. On that day, four years ago, Regulus had kept his word and read the rest of the book to James the first week at Hogwarts. The reading sessions became a frequent occurrence over the first half of Regulus' first year, but eventually, they to had come to a halt. 

Sirius however, had not kept his promise. The summer between first and second year had been hard. Walburga and Orion were already disappointed in their eldest son for the house he was sorted into, but as Sirius spent the summer before his third year acting out even more frequently, their parents had had enough, often torturing him relentlessly. When it came time for Regulus to start his second year, Sirius had decided he wanted nothing to do with the Black family, and this apparently included Regulus. 

Though the brothers did not spend all of their time together, it still came as a shock when Sirius would not invite his younger sibling to hang around he and the other marauders. As Regulus tried to give Sirius some space, thinking that maybe he had done something to anger him, he found himself immersed in events within his own house. And by the end of the school year, neither brother bothered to speak to the other one at all. 

However, it was still a reality check when Regulus could no longer go to his brother about the things he used to. He often wondered if Sirius felt the same way. If maybe, there was a part of Sirius that still loved Regulus and wanted to be his friend. Though the members of Slytherin house held him in high regards due to his family heritage, Regulus spent most of his time alone. He cared for his two dormmates, but even they couldn't understand the complexities of his family, especially when it came to Sirius, so he spent many of his nights in the kitchens. He realized quite early on that the kitchens were his favorite place in the entire school. Regulus had always been particularly fond of house elves, stemming from his relationship with his own elf Kreacher, but especially when he felt like he had no one, the house elves made him feel as though maybe he was not alone. The kitchen was also quiet and warm, and Regulus felt it was the perfect place to read, unbothered. 

He decided that maybe a book and a cup of tea would help clear his mind after the particularly awful day he'd had. He crept silently out of bed and down the steps to the common room. Regulus knew the quickest route to the kitchens and walked briskly, but quietly, to avoid being caught out of bed. He had taken this route for years now and he enjoyed the feeling of walking through the silent castle. The school was very much his home, and seeing it in all its glory, without other students around, was serene. 

The sudden sound of footsteps made Regulus freeze. He had never encountered Filch on this path before, so it was unclear who the noise came from, but it couldn't be good. He quickened his pace as a clanging sound came from somewhere around him. He glanced behind him anxiously before turning to face forward once more, but as he did so he was met with the hard body of another person, and both of them stumbled backwards. Regulus winced and looked up to see who'd he'd just run into. 

And of course it was James Potter.


	3. I Dated Your Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus is informed of terrible news and consoled by an unlikely ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Once again thank you for the support <3 I have a bit of free time this week so I'm going to post a few chapters over the next few days.

Regulus truly loved mornings.

They were a time of peace and quiet and the sunrise's at Hogwarts were unmatched. However, when you spend most of your time sulking in the kitchens in the middle of the night, you tend to oversleep. 

Alabastor yelled a final time for Regulus to "wake his bloody arse up", before slamming the door to the dormitory behind him. As a child, Regulus loved to watch the sunrise with his brother, and when his brother left for school he would watch them with Kreacher. 

Perhaps his fondness of the elf started as a replacement for his brother, but it was much more than that now. It was a friendship. This was why Regulus dwelled in the kitchens. Kreacher had shown him that elves are not a nuisance, and they can often be your truest friend if you only let them. So Regulus spent his moments of free time with the elves. He was usually able to function on a few hours of sleep, but not today.

The conversation he'd had with James replayed in his mind over and over. 

"What are you doing here?" James had asked.

"I could ask you the same." Regulus had replied tiredly. 

"I like to take walks to clear my head when something is particularly bothering me."

Regulus remained expressionless.

"Aren't you going to ask me what's bothering me?" James had replied with a grin.

"No. Goodnight Potter." Regulus whispered and stalked away.

The conversation lacked substance, but now that his head was clear, he wished he'd asked what was wrong. James Potter, the golden boy of Gryffindor house, was so upset about a problem that he walked the castle alone at night. Regulus thought, at least, if he'd asked, he could find the reason for James' frustration laughable. 

Regulus knew everyone had their own problems. Sirius had instilled this value into him at a very young age, explaining that it's okay to worry about yourself, but other people go through things too. At this very moment Regulus couldn't help but feel that Sirius was very, very wrong. No one else in the school was the heir to the most prestigious pureblood family, unwillingly awaiting the dark mark, at the expense of his life. If Regulus didn't obey his parents and take the dark mark, he would be disowned from the family, or worse, killed. And if he did comply, he would submit to the life of a murderer and probably still end up dead. So no, Regulus was not worried about anyone else's problems.

He dragged himself down to the common room and as if on cue, Severus Snape placed a hand on his shoulder. 

"Regulus come sit with us for a minute," he prodded and led Regulus to a far table, housing Mulciber and Flint. Regulus began packing his thoughts away again, like he did with his mother. He doubted the three boys knew legilimency but it was always better to be safe. He tried his best not to notice the devilish smirks spread across the older boys faces and kept his own expression stone cold. He sat down on the bench as Severus slid into the spot next to him. The greasy haired boy avoided eye contact and held the same stone cold stare as Regulus.

"Thank you for joining us little Black," Mulciber spoke slowly, "The Dark Lord has granted us the honor of giving you this news." He said the words with pride and conviction, as if relaying news for an evil sorcerer was a privilege. Regulus fought back a shudder and stayed silent. The two boys in front of him glanced at each other and rolled back their sleeves to fully display the black tattoo they bore. 

Regulus' eyes widened, "When did you get those? Neither of you are of age yet?"

They smirked before Flint spoke up, "The Dark Lord has decided to open up his ranks to those under seventeen, given that they're useful." 

Regulus didn't need to hear the rest of Flint's sentence. He knew what this meant. 

Two more years, he had two more years of freedom. Granted, his freedom would be limited as Voldemort grew in power, but it was still two years. Two years to form an escape plan. Two years for Dumbledore to defeat Voldemort. Anything to keep Regulus from this life. But he knew now that it was not an option, he was the son of the two most loyal death eaters ever known, and he would no doubt be in line for that mark. 

"...and you should consider this a great honor, you're very lucky to be apart of the Black family and to serve-" Flint continued excitedly. 

Regulus cut him off, "Thank you for delivering this news to me, I'm very pleased to be able to join the ranks at such a young age. If you'll excuse me, I don't want to miss breakfast before my classes so I must be off. I'm sure we'll speak again soon."

They nodded at him and Regulus took that as his cue to leave. However, instead of making his way to the great hall, Regulus made a beeline for the library. Though he would've rather gone to the kitchens, the elves were hard at work preparing food and he felt it would be rude to disturb them. He rushed into the library, and headed all the way to the back. Though there were probably less than five people in there, including Madam Pince, he could not risk anyone seeing him.

Finally alone, he slid down to the floor, as angry tears spilled down his face. He scolded himself for crying again, but he felt that these were well deserved tears. He let them fall silently for a long time, huddled in the dark corner. 

He wanted so badly to feel that it was unfair. But it wasn't. He deserved this. If he had taken a page out of Sirius' book, maybe he wouldn't be facing this crisis at all. He had played his part throughout the years, but perhaps that was the problem. He'd played the part too well, and now he had to live with the consequences of those actions. The self hatred piled high in his mind, slamming on his skull. He could almost feel it course through his veins as his sobbing became uncontrollable. In a fit of rage he slammed his fist into the wall beside him, bruising his skin and leaving a sizable hole in the drywall.

"Hello? Is someone back there?" A voice sounded. It was a girl. Regulus realized he had no way out of his hiding place without being seen, so he sat silently and prayed the girl would go away.

But of course, she did not.

She walked around the bookcase and stared at him. He recognized the dark skinned girl as Mary MacDonald, a Gryffindor sixth year, and one of Sirius' close friends. Regulus remembered faintly that she might've even been an ex-lover, before Remus. 

"Go away," he tried, but his voice came out in a whisper. She stared at him with an expression he couldn't name. It wasn't pity, no, he'd gotten that look a million times from Sirius, it was almost sadness, as if she was sad with him not for him. She sat herself down in the corner next to him.

"Having a bad day Regulus?" she asked softly.

"How do you know my name?"

"Have I been living under a rock?" she chuckled. When he didn't respond she continued, "And I dated your brother, before the whole queer thing of course. Why are you crying back here?"

"Reasons you wouldn't understand," he choked out.

"Regulus...I know you Slytherins think you keep it confined that you're all death eater prodigies, but everyone knows. Hell, I get terrorized with the propaganda at least twice a day, being muggle born and all. If that has anything to do with why you're crying alone in the back of the library at seven in the morning then, no I don't understand, but I'll still be here for you."

"Why?" he asked suddenly, staring into her eyes. They were a beautiful gold color. "You don't even know me."

She seemed to contemplate this for a minute before replying, "No you're right, I don't know you very well. I can see that you're different though. I know maybe not everyone can, but if you pay attention the hint is there. You don't spend time with those kids, you care about school and sports clearly as you're excellent in both, and you've never used that slur against anyone...to my knowledge of course."

Regulus knew she was referring to Sirius about paying attention. Mary had picked all the right words and Regulus felt very drawn to her, as if she saw that he was trying to be good but hadn't quite taken the leap to Sirius' level yet, which was much more than he could say for anyone else. He didn't think people paid attention to him like that.

"I don't say those words," he said quietly, "Any of them. They're despicable." Mary leaned her head on his shoulder as he continued shakily, "I try to tell Sirius that I can't be as outspoken as him and that I'm just doing what the rest of our cousins did by keeping my head down until I'm of age and I can get out of this whole pureblood family mess, but he never understands. He can't comprehend why someone wouldn't just give up everything for the sake of others, and I admire that about him, but we can't all be Sirius Black."

She stroked his arm comfortingly, "I know."

"And I thought I had more time and that maybe Dumbledore would've sorted this whole mess out by the time I was seventeen so I wouldn't have to worry anymore, and I know that makes me a coward, but I don't have friends to turn to like Sirius does. And now I've just found out that my time has been cut even shorter," he looked at Mary with pleading eyes full of tears, "They want me to take the dark mark as a fifteen year old. I...I don't know what to do and I have no one to help me."

Regulus saw Mary's eyes widen for a fraction of a second before she pulled him into a hug. Regulus was not a hugger, but somehow, with one small gesture, Mary had convinced him that he was okay. For now.

"You'll always have help Regulus if you just ask for it. I know that's easier said then done, but I promise you can talk to me about it."

"You can't tell anyone."

"I won't," she replied with a sad smile, "You just let me know if you need anything ever, I mean it, and I'll help you through it."

"Thank you Mary, people aren't usually very kind to me," Regulus said softly.

She stood up to leave, "Unfortunately, I can see that. I know what it's like to feel alone and to hate yourself for it, but you should never be scared to ask for help. Be careful okay?" Regulus nodded his head as she turned to leave. 

Another friend, he thought to himself.


End file.
